k.l.o.e.e - It's just me

Change..

2011-05-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

It's not always good, but sometimes it's necessary..

Been feeling a little off ever since PC Fair ended..

All of a sudden, I miss my old self..the geek who spent countless hours playing mmorpg and goodness knoes what other games..

I miss going out with friends..doesn't matter that they have become pretty non-existant in the recent years..

It's fun getting to know new people..makes me think that maybe i'm not as anti-social as i thought i was..and that they're not as scary as my imagination has made them up to be..

I quite like the way things are turning out..hopefully it's not gonna be as disastrous as i foresee..

2011-01-24T19:51:00.001+08:00

It's not even a day, and I miss you guys already..hope you'll be down for cny..

Suddenly..

2011-01-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

As of the past 24 hours, life has suddenly been turned into a drama..and i thought things like this only happened in movies..

Mad Cow Disease..

2011-01-11T22:06:00.003+08:00

At my new workplace, there is this person whom i've come to know as 'cow'. For many obvious reasons,the nickname describes her perfectly. Unfortunately, I was told that nicknaming her a cow is an insult to the cows of the world. Apparently, cows have higher IQs..

Cow: Take the copyright symbol out (It was next to the name of a well known brand)
Me: Mm, i'm actually using your template from last year. Was the copyright symbol thingy changed from this year on?
Cow: No. Copyright symbol is not there all along. Next time if you don't know then ask.
Me: Oh..but I'm actually using your template from the previous event
Cow: That's why I say if you don't know then ask.
Me: But how would one know to ask about a copyright symbol?
Cow: Next time if you don't know then ask
Me: Hey cow, i've only been working here for less than a month, you can't actually expect me to know about a copyright symbol? Can you please be more logical
Cow: Ya..but i expect...bla bla bla bla bla

Sighs..

Cow isn't actually my boss..thank goodness for that..cow just likes bossing people around and acting smart to make up for lack of IQ..

Me: The picture isn't clear after it's printed out
Cow: Ha..you didn't do the way I ask you to
Me: -.-" I converted it to JPEG like you asked
Cow: How do you snapshot? How you save to JPEG?i snapshot from a pdf file..and then paste it into paint..click save as..and select jpeg? You mean there's other ways to make the picture clearer ah?
Cow: *keeps quiet*

When I sit next to cow..i feel extremely stupid sometimes..b'coz cow likes to tell me step by step how to do the simplest things..

Colleague: Eh, what is cow doing ah?
Me: I have no idea
Colleague: She seems to b talking on the phone the whole day?
Me: That's why she needs to boss people around to get her work done

It's not even a month yet, but I think my blood pressure may be a little on the high side now..I think my new year's resolution is to be nicer to animals..maybe..one day..

2011-01-10T23:26:00.001+08:00

Thanks for the surprise visit

It really made my day! ^_^

Downhill ride..

2011-01-08T00:10:00.003+08:00

this morning..when i heard my name being called again to do some unnecessary changes, i was practically holding back from saying something nasty..but right before lunchtime when i went out of the room to cool off a bit..i suddenly felt calm when i returned..i could actually be decent to this person that i hate so much..

i wonder if it's the fact that its friday...and i will not be going back to office for 2 whole days..

for the first time in my life..i actually have human stress..is that even possible??????

gotta somehow send my car to my mechanic tomoro..it feels so weird having to rely on people to send me around again..

life is a mess at the moment..with the previous trips and the future trip..i'm kinda financially stuck again..for the next 2 months or so..glad that cny is less than a month away although it doesn't help in financial ways..but at least its a week off! well...minus a day..and by the time we're back to work again, it would be almost 2 months working there..

hopefully life will b less of a rollercoaster

2011..

2011-01-06T22:55:00.003+08:00

The only time i usually drop by my blog...is when something disastrous happens...or when i'm free enough to remember to blog..

i can't wait for cny...its supposedly a good year for the ox..in 2011..but 2011 hasn't officially ended yet..not for the chinese calendar anyway..

it's weird..i've never really been a believer..not in superstitions..not in zodiacs..or astrology..it was always a fun matter..but there's no harm believing for once right? if it's supposed to be a good year...then i'll believe it..

it's been more than a quarter of a century...the 2nd quarter has just begun..and in my entire 25.5 years of life..it has never crossed my mind that i will feel such hatred for another human being...sure, i've disliked people...i rarely say i hate people...and even when i did, it was just a figure of speech to just showed how much i disliked someone..but now, i feel such hatred that..i'm actually scared..

i believe in karma..that's why i've been telling myself...no matter how much of a bitch she is..i'll do my best to be nice to her...but its not working...how do you be nice to someone who backstabs a colleague when the colleague is too bz to help her? how does one tolerate a person who bosses you around when she's of a same level..makes her crew stand at her side and wait until she's done with work to show that she has authority..briefs someone wrongly and turns around and points the finger at you instead..i wish i could b nice to someone like that..but all i wanna do..is wish her the worst..

i'm glad tomorrow is friday..b'coz i dun think i can take another day of this..how can i not be stressed about work when the cause of it is something at work..

got into a small accident today..thank goodness it didn't involve any other car though..there was a black strip which looked like the average exploded lorry tyres on the road..tried to avoid but couldn't as i was on the highway with cars on 1 side..and the metal barricade on the other..tyre kaboomed..turned out it was a metal rod...and it flew into the driver's side left a hole there and flew three lanes across the highway..almost stopped by the side of the road to check but out of habit, first thing i did was to call jin..who made me slowly drive all the way home before getting out of the car..it didn't occur to me at that very moment of all those highway stories on syndicates and how they attack when you stop to check the damage at the side of the road..and lucky or not..i'm glad i got home safe..with a 4-digit damage..

December..

2010-11-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

and before we realize, its nearly the last month of the year again..time seems to pass faster and faster..now i wish i never wished to grow up so fast..

but for now, i can't wait for december to come by..coz no matter how bad things are, december always brings along this magical aura..all the malls will be decked out in xmas decorations and its time to shop for presents!! what shall i get jin this year..it's always a challenge trying to top the previous gift and keeping it a surprise at the same time..rawr!

going off to bangkok in a few days..less shopping and more travelling this time round..it's probably gonna b our last holiday together for awhile..so many places to see, so little time...wish i had booked for longer =( definitely going to the dusit zoo and hopefully they have pandas there..

gonna be starting my new job in about 2 weeks time..somehow, the thought of going into a new company doesn't scare me as much anymore..i guess the part i hate most about joining somewhere new is having to get to know all the colleagues again..adapting to a new environment..and keeping fingers crossed that the boss will be someone decent..well, as much as i want a longer holiday and a later starting date, i guess i better start working before i get into a lazy mood once more..

Breaktime!

2010-11-10T22:35:00.003+08:00

2 months straight of running around, multi-tasking, and trying to run a non-existent events team..i finally had some free time to do some things i've wanted to..and now that it's finally peaceful for a bit, i guess it's the perfect time to move on..part of me is so reluctant now that i've gotten to know most of them better..but part of me knows that i won't be able to stay on for long..

i'm now 3 or 4 shades darker from when i first started working here..contributions of all the outdoor events on weekends..but still, it was fun great fun..i guess its not only colleagues i'm gonna miss, but the friends i've made in the short time..and the nice cars i doubt i'll ever get to ride on again in the near future..i'm really glad that most of the events involved car displays and such..and despite the many times i felt my blood pressure shooting up, the end result's always fun to see..

caught up with some friends i haven't seen for ages..the bad thing about suddenly having some free time is that you tend to think about things..i finally met up with a good friend for lunch..and it didn't go as bad as i thought it might have..even after all the things that happened, conversation just kinda took off from where we last left it? well, more or less so..

on leave again tomorrow..i can finally have breakfast with my family again! yay to a normal life..for a day or two

Crash and burn...

2010-10-13T21:35:00.002+08:00

feel like it's gonna happen anytime soon..sure, i work in events..but i'm as much a human as anyone else..

was really excited over the whole thing, but with the current team which is pretty non-existent..i'm wondering whether we can pull it off without any problems..i can foresee almost everything going wrong..

it feels as if a year has passed..and it's only been near to 2 months..

Falling..

2010-10-09T23:02:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, i feel like just giving everything up and walking away...right when everything is supposed to get better, it does just the opposite..i guess if something seems to good to be true, it usually is..

so many things that i wanna do but there seems to be less personal time left..weekly working hours have gone up + the time i spend stuck in jam now that the workplace is further..everyday after work, all i wanna do is have dinner and go home and sleep..gone are the days where i get to choose between night markets, movies, cybercafes, and yamcha sessions..

i can't wait for the 1 year to be up..10.5 months to go!

2010-08-20T01:06:00.002+08:00

holiday's finally coming to and end...still feel like there's so many things to do and yet i guess it's time to start working again =(

went to bukit cahaya the other day and we actually got lost inside! quite disappointing to see that the place isn't what it was when we first started going there..the animals are not even in their cages anymore..felt quite frustrated when we had no idea how to get to where we wanted to go..we actually tried to use the gps to look for a way out >.<

things have been pretty peaceful for awhile..until someone decides to stir up some things again..it's weird how people can't leave things as it is..or maybe there's just not enough drama in their lives..it's pretty tiring trying to keep up with them..and wasting my holidays having to go to government departments and maybe the police station soon =( it made it worse when they try to plant different thoughts into all of us trying to get us to turn against one another..guess they're not as smart as i thought they were..

the htc keeps dying on me...thought of getting a blackberry but not willing to give up my ambassador line..will probly survive on it for the time being until something better comes along..

the other day it crossed my mind that i haven't heard from this particular friend for a very long time..i used to randomly get sms-es from him once in awhile and i would know that it's him b'coz his number was the only weird ass international number that i didn't have on my phonebook..i'm actually quite surprised that he still remembers me...what's more he's still using a wallet that i gave him as a present eons ago.. >.< goes to show what a useless person i am at keeping in touch sometimes...but glad to know that as i'm thinking of them, they still remember me too =(

gummy bears..

2010-07-25T01:21:00.003+08:00

it's 1.21am and i'm hungwee! tummy grumbling kind *sighz*

been ~~obsessed~~ infatuated with gummy bears lately..it all started one weekend when an ex-colleague kept talking about gummy bears from UK and then i saw some at the night market..bite off a few gummy bear heads and found it to be very addictive..sam says not working has made me violent..cool!

shall head to night market to get more gummies on monday..and if i'm bored enough maybe i can make the gummies pose for my pen? it's been so neglected lately doing nothing but taking pictures of the mountain dew roadshows week after week..i'm sure it's dead bored of all that 'doing the dew' crap..

emo songs & then summore..

2010-07-25T00:25:00.004+08:00

Listening to sad old love songs makes me get emo-ish for no reason at all..making me feel old too that i recognize so many songs from the 70s/80s..OMG @.@

'tell me how am i supposed to live without you
now that i've been loving you so long
how am i supposed to live without you
and how am i supposed to carry on
when all that i've been living for is gone...'

i guess these kinda songs makes sense at some point in all our lives..but somewhere, somehow, most of us will always find the strength to move on..and everything will be nothing but happy faded memories..

it's finally the 24th..it's gonna be a new day tomoro..the start of all good things to come and much, much more! beaches, hill-climbing, cycling..where to go first?

few more days till i have to finally make a decision..which path to take, where do i head to from here on? it all looks so tempting..but i knoe once i've picked my choice, there will be no turning back..there won't be a second chance..

but for now, i guess i'll just enjoy what remains of my peaceful weekend..and from here on, i can sit in the comfort of my home and sympathize the ones that have to go through what i used to..work is not everything..i've always known that..and i'm glad i walked way before i regret working my life away..woohoo!

Freedom..

2010-07-23T20:51:00.003+08:00

It's been almost a week since i've left..and i can't help but smile each time i think that i'm free from there..

can't believe the trouble that's been stirring up after i left..i guess it just goes to prove that when you have the guts to push for what you deserve and management feels threatened, they will do whatever it takes to find non-existent faults just so they do not have to pay-up or own-up to the mistakes they have done..can't believe a man in his 30s will resort to personal attacks just to 'win'..and yes, i've always known that he's someone who cannot lose..but to go to this extent is a little too much especially when you're supposed to be a GM of a company..

guess i gotta start thinking what i can do since i can't see myself stooping to their level..half of me just wants to leave things be, just walk away and head to a better future..but the other half just can't stand to see everyone else get cheated..

i've seen my ex-colleague faint due to stress and being overworked..and the worse part is that she's so obviously underappreciated..i don't know how they can be so blind as to not see who actually contributes..how can they treat her like she's just a backup?

have been doing alot of thinking the past few days..approaching different parties with regards to what my options are..i guess if i were to go ahead with it, it's gonna be a lengthy procedure..i don't really wanna fight, it's not what i want..all i wanted was for everyone to get what they were promised..if only there's an easier way to do everything..

on a happier note, i'm going for a holiday! maybe it'll do alot of good to be able to get away from all these bullshit for now..and i guess even if i can't get back all that has been promised, there's always karma ^_^

2010-06-21T18:25:00.002+08:00

guess i'm right..i'm being treated exactly the same way like her...as expected...but i guess i'm luckier, i do not have to be around as much...

feeling down and i don't even know why...

i'm moving on..i should be happy...right?

Beginning of the end..

2010-06-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

Today's the day..I walked in hoping that it would be as quiet as yesterday..at least it would provide me with a peaceful environment to work in..i had to tell myself not to back out..that it would be worse if i continued pretending that everything was alright compared to a few weeks of being treated badly..

Nick asked if i felt liberated..i've done it..i clicked send..i told him i felt scared..i felt a little sad..i'm leaving my comfort zone and i have no idea where i'll b heading to next..so many opportunities out there, i'm trying to remain positive about things..it feels good knowing i'm gonna be out of there soon..but sadness remains..the feeling of freedom doesn't ease the pain of knowing that so many good things happened in the 1.5 years there..the friends i've made, the ones i'll keep even after we've all moved on, the mentors who have taught me so much in such a short time..

It's only been 5 months, but it felt like a year has passed since things started changing..people started leaving..and i finally felt it..working weekend after weekend, missing out on bfast/dinner with family, mother's day..travelling outstation ever so often..coming back to hear what you expected least..they take the smallest errors ever, blow it out of proportion..

and when push comes to shove, its finally time to leave..when the same errors are being made, and only some gets the blame, there really isn't much point in worrying about what would happen if you leave..

today is the beginning of the end..i feel....free

2010-04-22T23:25:00.003+08:00

there goes another weekend spent working..and i'm gonna be so far away..i wonder how long more i'll be able to stay in events..now that jen's leaving and roadshows are coming in like nobody's business..i don't wanna spend my weekends at work, having meetings at night, getting home when everyone's asleep..and somehow, i foresee that happening when jen leaves..

so many things that i've been meaning to do on weekends and i've never really had the time to do so..haven't even been able to do something as simple as getting some pictures printed out..

i'm not gonna turn into a workaholic..no way..

2010-04-04T23:10:00.007+08:00

isn't it odd how sometimes everything clicks into place and its so clear you wondered why you didn't think of it before?

why is it that people you put such trust in the ones who end up betraying you?

its really weird..i never thought it would be you..but i slowly thought back b'coz i knew the answer couldn't be that obvious..a gut feeling told me to think further back..whom it was that i used to be close to..someone who would not hesitate and side her when you made up your mind it was her..and suddenly i thought of you..b'coz i used to tell you things that i didn't even tell my best friend then..i turned to you for advice when i couldn't ask her..and once i thought of you..everything fits clearly..

so..was it fun interpreting my thoughts your own way? were you happy when you saw conflict among ppl you're close to..and people you were close to once? well, if you're reading this now and interpreting it..this time you're right..its you

and by all means, please go crying to her and add more oil to the fire..

i guess some damage that have been done can never be repaired..i do hope you're extremely proud to have played such a big part in it..its such a waste that i always thought of you as someone rational and unbiased..when i felt guilty to not have been able to see you for so long..i guess you can never know a person even after so many years..

but i'm glad i found out now..thanks for being who you truly are..

and yes, now you can spread the news..this post is about you ^_^

if i was a 100% certain when i was wrote this post, now i'm 110% certain after reading the comment..wished i was wrong, but unfortunately not..so i guess its time for me to publish the post

2010-04-04T01:22:00.002+08:00

as much as i kept trying to think positively, i had a feeling that something bad would happen..cancelled plans not b'coz of anyone's fault..but still, i felt the disappointment..but i know i'm not the only one..

he turned to me and said "let's run away"..at that moment i really wanted to..it seemed like a really good idea..somewhere far away where life is peaceful and time is just another number..

thanks for everything..you really made my day..despite having a weekend where you have absolutely no time for anything else but work..you found the time the accompany me..nothing can describe how i feel..i cannot be any happier now..you made this day different from every previous years..

<3

2010-03-25T00:52:00.002+08:00

Pictures tell a thousand words..one day i'll look back at them and laugh at all the happy times we had..you're always there accompanying me to random places and going along with my silly ideas..i've never felt happier ^_^

my favourite pic of the lot..kinda looks like a heart shape?

2010-03-24T15:56:00.002+08:00

Ever stopped for a moment to look back in life? Wonder what has changed in the previous days? months? years?

astro was a killer event..can't believe office closed for 4 days but it's the first time i got to work with everyone in BC together in an event..i guess looking back at it now it was really fun..except at that time most of us were ready to kill each other..

so many ups and downs in the previous 2 weeks..i thought life has finally quieted down as i've been keeping mostly to myself..and i guess it was quite a surprise to me when i received a sms from a certain someone..out of the blues, when everything seemed peaceful and calm, an asshole tries to stir up trouble by spreading his thoughts of what he thinks is an interpretation of what i write..well, guess what? if you can read minds, why are you still living in that shithole where you belong? oh btw, i happen to know you're reading this and the only reason why i'm not confronting you in person is because i still care about my friend..we might not be that close anymore but it doesn't mean it'll make me trust her less..so, if you're extremely free and unhappy with life, pls go screw urself..i won't be as forgiving the next time round

fuh! been meaning to get that out for awhile but my wireless seemed to have died on me..keeping fingers crossed that internet will be up at home again pretty soon..

had a really great weekend doing things i wanna do..going to places i wanna go..and being with people who actually speak their mind..thanks for clearing all the doubts i had..it's been a fantastic 10 mth and looking forward to more..

my leave was approved yesterday, guess i'm really going to china in june..i was actually quite hesitant about the trip..it came as a surprise to me and i wanted to save my leave for the end of the year..was hoping for a trip to disneyland..but i guess there's always time for that next year? the whole family's going and i can't exactly say no..besides, i can't even remember when was the last time we actually went anywhere together..well, looking on the bright side, i'll be having fun with my new 'slr'! and hopfeully i'll see some pandas there..

2010-03-22T11:42:00.003+08:00

i'm in a dilemma..what should i do? if only you were here i bet you'd knoe what to tell me to say..

i wish i could stop thinking..

please tell me i'm wrong..

that every detail i've noticed is just a fragment of my imagination..

i don't want it to repeat..

2010-03-15T23:48:00.001+08:00

i feel like running..but where to?

2010-03-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

hey you,

how have you been? how long has it been since we last 'talked'? there are so many times when i see you online and i run my mouse over your nickname and yet i hesitate to say hi..b'coz i know, there's nothing else to say after that

the hours we spent on the phone..going to night markets..the dinners and yamcha sessions..i guess those times are long gone..sometimes, i really feel like trying to make things work again, but more often than not, this voice in my head reminds me of all the things you've done..the first time it happened, i felt hurt but i laughed it off telling myself that you're just being you and you never meant it the way it sounded..but when people who didn't even know you told me the kind of things you spoke behind my back, i wonder what happened to the friend i used to know

i'm tired..and as much as i might still care, i think you'll know how to take care of yourself..there's only so much i can do and hopefully you won't end up in the same situation as me one day..then again, you're strong than i am..i bet you won't..

thanks for everytime you were there for me..i'll always remember those times..

although sadly, you're nothing but a stranger to me now..

2010-03-10T23:21:00.002+08:00

i've always been repeating the phrase 'ignorance is bliss'..so why can't i remain that way? somehow being overly observant at the wrong times have given me alot of room for doubt..i'm trying not to think too much..trying not to wonder what will happen shud what i'm thinking really comes true..i'm blisfully happy now with all the unexpected things happening in my life..but often things come crashing down at the happiest moments..

less than a month more to the day filled with happy n dreadful memories..but i have faith that it will b better this year..hopefully...

2010-02-19T11:30:00.002+08:00

Finally, something 'blogworthy' to talk about! My first time stepping into the DBKL building (the one on Jln Raja Abdullah) as i had to get back a deposit for some event. It was bad enough that the parking had no proper signages to direct one to the visitor parking, but the insult i got when i stepped out of the lift.

It's funny how the government stresses on us being multi-racial, that every race/religion should get along with each other and all that 1Malaysia crap. Imagine my surprise when i stepped out of a lift and this malay woman says that i won't be allowed to go up because what i'm wearing is 'embarassing'. Guess what i wore? A tank top! Look left, look right, i'm sure you'll see any other girl in a sleeveless top. So, is this discrimination? I don't see anyone telling you in advance that you have to wear a certain attire to go up, and what's more they don't even tell it to you nicely. She could have been more polite to say it was inappropriate, but nope, she just had to be plain rude. Or perhaps, she doesn't know a better word for the lack of english education.

Perhaps, it was only this particular woman but she just left a bad name for the rest of the DBKL people. As far as i'm concerned, if i can help it, i'll never step in. Or perhaps, if i was unlucky enough to get a DBKL fine, does that mean i'm not allowed to pay for it if i wear skimpily?

Happiness is..

2009-12-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

finally understanding that a relationship is not a one-sided thing..

can't believe how naive i was one year back..believing a hell lot of lies just to hold on to something which should have ended a long time ago..

it doesn't feel that long ago but it's amazing how much my life has changed since then..how much happier i am now

i've lost so many things in the past year..but what i've gained in return far outweighs the negative

it's coming to the end of the year..and for once, i don't look back and regret what i have not done..this time, i'm gonna walk forward with a huge grin..knowing there will be many more interesting things coming my way

Randomness..

2009-09-16T00:53:00.002+08:00

I realised that each time i meant to blog, its always while i'm trying to sleep. Lying on my bed, words that i want to write runs across my mind and when i wake up, everything is forgotten...short term memory? or just loss of inspiration when i sign into blogger

Life has been pretty eventful in the past few months...so many things have changed..or maybe i'm the one who has changed. friends that i used to hang out with; those that i used to be so close to..are slowly drifting away one by one. in a way i blame myself for not putting enough effort to keep in touch. but when we do meet up, there's the awkward moments where conversations do not flow as easily as it used to; the uncomfortable silence when no one knows what to say.

But i guess i'm pretty grateful for everything that's happened..at the point of breaking, when friends i've known 'forever' turned against me..i met a lot of people who have come to mean alot to me. it's weird how things worked out..but i knoe i'm happier now

Been 2 years since my corrective laser surgery..and i'm suddenly getting fluctuations in my vision..thought i'd just leave it alone and it might go away..but it's been getting quite frustrating when i'm trying to work on the computer and everything goes so blurry i can't even see when i squint my eyes. but seeing that it goes up and down, i'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll somehow go back to normal if i get enuf sleep + stop staring at the laptop so much + eating more carrots? coz i'm soooo soooooooo reluctant to go thru another round of my 'traumatising' laser surgery again..ugh!

Have lost my inspiration for writing..couldn't even think of a creative copy at work today. Brains probly slowed down due to the lack of writing recently..maybe should eat more fish..

Sleepless Nights...

2009-04-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

Been unable to sleep much at night...and being extremely sleepy while i'm at work...and this time its not due to stress...well, not directly...couple of days ago, someone broke into the house compound and stole some stuff RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY...i'm glad that its just the outside..they didn't break INTO the house...BUT in the mid daylight? right where crime can be seen? and the funniest thing was, the back of my house faces this pretty busy street...and people just watch and let it happen...aren't we malaysians just the best neighbours to have?

i'm still quite freaked out and very cautious of sounds in the middle of the night...its worse that everything's so quiet at night that u can hear the water dripping...

dad's looking for a place to move to...hopefully somewhere with higher security...i remembered when i insisted on staying in bangsar...then again, i guess its no longer safe being here...it's the only place i've grown up in though...but if i were to leave soon...i wud really hope that we can move somewhere safer....somewhere where i wouldn't have to worry every night about wat's happening back home...

so sleepy right now...2 more days till the weekend and maybe i can catch up on some sleep while i'm in mom's place...

2009-04-06T21:59:00.003+08:00

3 months more to go...i can't believe i'm contemplating going back to a place i was so set on not going back to...

Whether it will be a wrong or right decision...i'm just gonna make the best out of whatever i choose...

The space is growing wider...everything seems further...nothing's what it seemed to be anymore...maybe people change everyday without realising it...things that mattered so much, seems to be less important...memories i've been frantically trying to hold on, seems to be drifting away easily now...is this called moving on?

More pandas....

2009-04-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

Fuh! I AM SO FULL!!!!! That i'm so sleepy but i can't sleep...coz i feel so...ugh! FULL!

Thank you Mike for the Japanese Dinner @ Sushi Zanmai...and dessert @ Delicious...although we had to go all the way from 1U to Bangsar Village =P and of coz for the box of pandas ^_^

Too full to blog @.@ -To Be Continued when i'm not so sleepy-

2009-04-01T10:51:00.004+08:00

Colours fade away...flowers will eventually dry up...

Here i am...still trying to hold on...

But i'm slowly losing sight of my reason...

I thought i'd be able to remain my upbeat self...to not get upset at all over anything that has and will happen...but it's harder than i thought...

Letting go of my past was easy...but being put side by side to another's history is another thing altogether..

Hope leads to disappointment...

Should i continue to hope then?

PANDAS!

2009-03-29T21:06:00.005+08:00

Long overdue pictures thanks to photobucket...which keeps making my IE crash each time i try to use the bulk uploader. Sighz..

Sometime a few weeks back, knowing that I'm really into food...Matt brought me to this japanese place in subang...I was supposed to blog about it because the food was so good...but since it took me so long to blog, i've forgotten the name of the shop T_T

It was a really quaint place...opened by this japanese family...apparently when they first got the m'sia, the daughter couldn't adapt to the food here. so the parents imported ingredients from japan to cook their meals. after awhile, someone came along, got them to open the shop and ta-dah, here it is today

Menu & interior of the shop

Matt with his...um..i think it was some jap coffee?

Some green tea latte thingy which tasted REALLY GOOD...and japanese curry spaghetti

Dish with some weird name that i can't recall @.@

Proof that the food was good...

Ppl who knoe me should know that I usually at best polish off half the plate...and i finished the whole thing this time...omg >.<

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Went for midnite movie with JR, Junnie and Matt....arrived earlier with JR and he was trying to find someplace for dinner...unfortunately, Midvalley shops close by 10pm...11pm if you're lucky...so, we walked around to the outside and came upon this Ipoh Chicken Rice place..

The food was surprisingly decent...but a bit pricey though

Jr...waiting impatiently for his food

And i saw smtg on the menu which i couldn't resist!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Went for my overdue x-ray of my spine...my collection of x-rays getting really heavy...simone and junnie accompanied me...and since we were at Klang...

Yao Yao Ping!

and fried chicken! better than KFC leh...

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Had a be-earlied b'day lunch with mommy, aunt Melody, simone and junnie on saturday. Went to sushi zanmai....and while we were eating, Junnie made an excuse to go to the washroom....and she came back with....

PANDASSSSSS!!!!! EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So touched T_T...and now i can't bear to eat the cupcakes coz the pandas are so damned cute! >.< Bleh...hope the ants don't come.

Aunt Melody said she'll get me a present this year...so we walked into...

and came out with..

my very own Coach wristlet!~

Thanks Mommy, Aunt Melody, Junjun and Simmy...for making my weekend special ^_^

Yes i had a fantastic weekend and i still can't stop grinning each time i see the pandas or the wristlet =P Now i shall be looking forward to Friday again...girl's nite out~ woohoo~

I vote EARTH...for 1 measly hour

2009-03-28T21:08:00.003+08:00

So here i am...sitting in the dark...can't even type properly coz i can't blardy see my keyboard...for 1 miserable hour...

Wow! We're making a difference...for that 1 hour...now, if everyone can keep this up every day/week...maybe we'll actually be able to do something for our planet earth

Was at Tony Romas for dinner when earth hour started...and The Curve/Cineleisure/Ikano actually switched off the main lights (neon, billboards, etc). It's great that big corporations are actually pledging to do something good...but for just an hour a year...doubt that's gonna make hell of a change.

Perhaps tomoro's front page headlines will be 'BURGLAR'S HAPPIEST MOMENT - EARTH HOUR'...now, wouldn't that be a sight to see

Had a great GREAT day today...but shall leave it for when i'm not too lazy to upload pictures

Be-earlied

2009-03-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

Was out for dinner with Jon a few days ago...and at the start of dinner...he handed me an envelope which was supposed to be a 'be-earlied' birthday present...

And since he coudln't find a nice envelope...he nicked one from his office...

I remembered thinking to myself...it obviously has to be a voucher of some sort. So i was making guesses....MNG? Zara? =PP

When curiousity got the better of me...i looked into the envelope and pulled out...

OMG -_-"

From a guy who will NOT step into any lingerie shop...

La Senza vouchers...

*speechless*

Nevertheless...thank you~ Although you obviously will not get to see what I'm getting...Unless....you wanna come lingerie shopping with me? ^^

2009-03-25T15:34:00.000+08:00

things change...ppl change...

and sometimes trying to hold on to memories is not the best thing to do...

Trying too hard?

2009-03-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

I remember awhile back...i told my bf at that time...that his attitude has changed a lot from the time we first got together...The reply i got was that ppl need to change with time in order to move forward..and apparently, i'm someone who can be that someone forever...not changing...stuck in time

Fast forward 3 years from then...and once again i feel like i'm stuck in the same situation...history repeats..in a different way...and it's only been 3 mths...great!

It's either i'm really such an unsociable person looking for arguments in every other sentence i say...or 'we' just really cannot talk to each other anymore. It seems that the harder i try...the more I plan things out to be there...the worse it gets. No one wants to give in...and at the end of the day i always find myself being the one who has to initiate a conversation...giving in...

Everytime i tell myself its okay...we'll be okay...we'll get thru it...but its getting harder and harder... maybe i finally understand what it means by 'if you love someone let them go'...coz they may be hurting by being with you...

I hate this feeling...of struggling to breathe...of the air not being able to reach my throat...i haven't felt this way since high school...i hate waking up so often in the middle of the night...not being able to sleep coz something in my mind is keeping my brain from shutting down completely...

For the past few days i kept wondering...if you really meant everything you said in the beginning...coz...i really don't feel it anymore...

Unwritten

2009-03-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

Not able to forget the things i should forget...and forgetting the things i wanna remember...

It's scary how hard i'm trying to hold onto something, when i can barely remember what it feels like anymore...everything's moving at such a fast pace, i feel like i barely know what's happening anymore

Ugh..

No one else can feel it for you~
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else,
Can speak the words on your lips

Disrupted..

2009-03-17T12:39:00.001+08:00

My schedule! Supposed to be at my FINAL roadshow location now but some smart ass college management 'ffk-ed' us last minute...we were literally running around looking for replacements yesterday...but i guess with 1 hour notice is far too short for most places...and thus, i'm sitting here in office when i'm supposed to be out and about finalizing the L'oreal thingy. Sighz

Camping out in the lounge again...the office seems to be stuck at winter all the time...carried my lappie to the table nearest to the window, opened them as wide as possible, and closed the door that connects it to the winter zone...and i'm still freezing!! kinda makes me wonder how i survived 2 yrs in melbourne

On another note...it's st. patrick's day today! and i'm actually wearing a green tank top + green hoodie...now all i need is some red and i can look like a xmas tree >.<

Received a sms from my former Marketing Manager...back when I was working in MegaKidz (yes..i worked in MK...and it was one of the worst jobs ever). Sometimes it really amazes me that i'm still remembered...and it feels really good to get a msg out of the blue from someone you never thought you'd hear from. It's only been less than half a year ago since i've quit my job there...had this really huge disagreement with the management there...went for the op..and now i'm here working in events again...Seems like so much time has passed, coz everything seems so different now

Say it again for me~
Coz I love the way it feels
When you're telling me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind

Say it again for me~
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love

Say it again~~~

19 more days!

2009-03-16T23:54:00.001+08:00

No..its not what you're thinking of!

I'm talking about Speedzone! Paul Oakenfold!!!

*urges the days to pass faster*

I'll never let you down, never run around~
Baby believe me
Coz I will be there always

I'll never let you down, never mess around~
Baby believe me
Never before have I felt something more than I do

2009-03-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

*stares at clock on laptop screen. concentrates and urges time to pass faster*

it's friday...and i'm back in the office...wondering how i got past the past 5 hours. doesn't help that it permanently feels like winter all the time. i've gotten so used to being out on roadshows that it feels so 'not normal' for me to be in the office sitting down.

it's friday again! the 13th! and i'm awfully cheery...that its scaring me. going over to 1u tonight for the st.patrick's thingy...and then dragonball! it's gonna be damn weird though...a goku that speaks english (O.o)

3+ hours to go!

2009-03-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

8 locations down...4 more to go...i feel so drained even thought i'm not physically doing the carrying and lifting. I can't even begin to imagine how the rest of the crew feels. It was a thoroughly fun and enjoyable experience but i can't wait for it to be over...by the end of the day, i just wanna crawl into bed and sleep...and not wake up in the morning

been feeling kinda ~~moody~~ moodless lately...can't even bring myself to be as excited as going for shopping as before...OMG! -.-" but for now, i'm just gonna blame it all on being tired...and hopefully it will all pass soon...really hate this feeling of being kinda aimless and just going through life day by day without anything to look forward to anymore...

time flies...it's march already...less than one more month till speedzone...yay? was kinda looking forward to it but the thought of a rave makes me feel sleepy now...wtf =( i need some cheering up...anyone wanna send me smtg cute? >.<

Stupidity..

2009-02-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

It seems that...i can never find it in my to be cruel...i always somehow believe that in time, ppl will change for the better...

Which is where my stupidity kicks in...a leopard never changes spots so easily...and yet i always give someone the benefit of doubt...even though similar things have happened over n over again...

- R.K - says:
*pat pat

- R.K - says:
u're too nice

- R.K - says:
need to learn from me

I need to take 'evil' lessons from Shuey... *gRrR*

_____________________________________________________________________________________

On another note...Friday nite was great. Had a MC-ian gathering....but ended up to be more like a class gathering since most of us there were from 3S =P Everyone's changed sooooooo much! It was great catching up after so many years...wonder how many years later it'll be b4 we meet up again..

Had vball today...but onli played for 5 minutes or so...and now my hand's bruised -.-" i feel so 'karat' ady after so many years of not playing...can't even get the ball to go where i want it to...sighs...hopefully will be able to play in an actual game sometime soon once doc says okay...*keeps fingers crossed*

Friday the 13th

2009-02-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

It's Friday....and it's the 13th of Feb... O.o

Is something bad supposed to happen today?

No i'm not superstitious...i'm just curious

Is it true...?

2009-02-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

I once read somewhere that guys can fake an entire relationship...how true is that? I mean...what if the relationship is a long one..? 1 year? 2 years? And they can still pretend that they love a girl while on the other hand, they're trying to find something better?

It's just a thought...that would be pretty freaky if it was true...coz then i would think back of all relationships and wonder...were they even real?

I miss....

2009-01-27T22:04:00.001+08:00

CNY day 2...and i'm already bored out of my mind...somehow, this year seems really quiet compared to before...kinda makes me think back of all the things i miss during cny...

I miss...

my horrible, morbid cousin who's joy in life is to make my life more hellish than usual each time he's down in KL (Ugh..) He's morbid coz he actually planned out his funeral while we were at grandpa's funeral.. -.-"

I miss...

decorating the house....when we were very much younger, my cousins used to overnight at my place pre-cny and we would be hanging cards on strings and ang pow packets on this really tall tree in the garden...sad to say, the tree's not even there anymore.. =(

I miss...

O2jamming! When all else fails to entertain, at least I used to have online games to keep me company throughout the day. Well, at least now i see the good side to addiction to online games

But what i miss most this year...

is my grandpa

its a tradition for me to get him a new shirt every year b4 cny... so it kinda felt weird this year when i didn't have to go hunt for smtg he would approve of...i miss how he used to grumble at me if i wore smtg close to black during cny...or how he would switch on the TV loudly and annoy my dad..

its weird that all the habits we used to think annoying are the ones we miss most when that person isn't around anymore...and i would give anything for you to be here now..

it's only been 2 mths since...but it feels so long ago that you left...

and i still miss you..

Long overdue post..

2009-01-22T00:12:00.000+08:00

At the start of every year (i'm a little late due to procrastination)...most people i know make resolutions (which most of the time they never fail to NOT keep)... so, this year, i shall only make 1 resolution. which is to do/get as many things as possible listed in my wishlist =P

Therefore...please feel free to contribute if you're feeling generous ^_^

aNgeLic's ~WiShList~ for 2009

- Nintendo Wii
- Sony PS3
- Tix for Rihanna's concert on 13th Feb (yes..i'm dying to go)
- 3G phone (mine's dying =[ )
- new laptop...preferably a mac...then again i'm not choosy =P
- flight tickets to Perth (Sept is good...just in time for the Perth Royal Show <-- *hints to shuey*)
- go to HK Disneyland! (and then i can go on a shopping frenzy)

and last but not least...

- Mazda RX-8 (mwahahaha...doesn't hurt to dream right? =P )

I'm sure if i sat down for awhile and started thinking...i'd probly be able to come up with a page full of stuff. Now that I got my 'resolution' down...will just be 'looking forward' to the rest of the year and see what it brings. With much hope, it'll be many times better than its predecessor...

Let Go...

2009-01-16T00:57:00.001+08:00

It's a song that brought so much meaning to me at a point in life that i kept repeating it for the hope that it will somehow convince me...Being too observant (or issit too free?), Jonathan noticed and thus came up with the idea for the bnw pic that is now the header for my blog...

At the time the picture was taken, i was wondering wat wacky idea Jon had trying to get a pic of my hand... But i guess what i wanna say (altho a little late) now is.... Thank you... I guess i finally did it...

So...credits to Jon for my 'emo-ish' header now

P.S : Since you said that the song gave you the idea for the pic, I figured its only fair that I edited it to include lyrics of it as part of the whole thing =)

2009-01-14T15:12:00.001+08:00

I guess there's a limit to everything...I've finally reached mine....So freaking pissed off with some ppl who get more and more immature! It's fine if you don't keep your words, but at least apologize or explain nicely! And all along i've been trying to make sure you're okay...I guess you're not even worth my time...

2008-11-23T10:18:00.001+08:00

kept convincing myself that all we had to do was wait till monday, which was when they will be doing another CT scan to determine the cause...and perhaps, manage to save him? but then again, i'm probably in denial...wat are the chances of someone hooked to a life support machine waking up again? nothing short of a miracle is gonna make that happen...

i guess it has finally come to a point where a decision has to be made soon...after watching all the stuff on tv, never thought that it would happen to us...but grandpa's condition is getting worse by the day...and this morning, the doc said his organs are failing one by one... i can't imagine how my dad, uncle and aunt is feeling... and its so painful watching them break down one by one... should be glad my unemotional cousin is here...he's the only thing that's keeping me from being overly depressed now..

maybe its time to let go..

i hope i'll be able to smile when it ends...

2008-11-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

It's one month from the day i had my surgery...and once again i'm back in the hospital...but this time its not me...in a lot of ways, i'd rather that it be me, coz no matter how bad it was, i knew my chance of recovery would be much better than my grandpa's.

How do you convince someone who keeps insisting that he doesn't wanna live on anymore? I guess that was what scared me most...when grandpa started stating his will...not wanting to go to the hospital when he was in severe pain...and worse still, telling the doctor to give him sleeping pills so he can just sleep and not wake up. But it's even scarier when I could place myself in his position and understood why he said all those...the fact that he'd rather not go thru the operation, coz he knows that even after he recovers, things will be different. But at the end of the day, he was forced to go thru with it...and all i could do was hold back tears and hope that someone convinces him otherwise before they push him into the OT.

Sunday night was hell...going to hospital in the middle of the night...not knowing what to expect...and in some way was trying to prepare myself for the worse... it didn't help much when the doctor said we should prepare ourselves =.=" so many things ran thru my mind when grandpa was going thru the operation... and this time, being the person who's watching, i really felt fear...the fear of losing someone so dear to me...

Well...i guess what i should b most glad for is the fact that I'm here and not thousands of miles away...at least right now, i can still do something. But with everything happening, it just makes me more sure that I cannot leave anytime soon...or at least until i know that there's someone who can take care of them if i'm not here. It's getting really tiring....hope things will get better somehow...

2008-11-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

OMG...i'm so screwed.....went to midvalley/gardens with simone and junnie....and walked into a shop without knowing what shop it was....

half an hour later....

happy...but dead broke! ugh!

Sunsets...

2008-11-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

While talking about sunsets...our conversation suddenly took a weird turn....

Jnls.Net says:
coz tat time sunset....

Jnls.Net says:
very got "feel"

Jnls.Net says:
too bad all guys in d damn car...

:+: a N g e L i c :+: milky milky coco puff~ says:
n still got feel..? something sounds very wrong...

Jnls.Net says:
hahaha...

Jnls.Net says:
if u look out d window n ignore that fact lahh

Jnls.Net says:
ish...

:+: a N g e L i c :+: milky milky coco puff~ says:
u sure ar...? or are u trying to hint to me something more...? *ahem*

Jnls.Net says:
.....

I know sunsets are oh-so romantic....but having all guys in a car and still being able to 'feel' =P that's a bit...*ahem* too much hor? Please don't kill me after reading this >.<

S.H.U.E.Y!

2008-11-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

2 posts in a day....and the reason for it?

- R.K - 我给你的爱暂时收不回来 says:
eh, no pics of me at all in ur bloggie!

- R.K - 我给你的爱暂时收不回来 says:
hmpf

Shall post nice pics of shuey from a photoshoot done in bkt jalil some time back. Unfortunately, out of 3 photographers there...only 1 passed me a dvd with all the pics. Therefore, credit for all pics goes to Jonathan Ng, whom not only showed up the earliest on that day, but he had to wait hours and hours for us >.<

Since Jon arrived super early, he managed to take some really great pics at the LRT station

Had hell of a time trying to wake Jen up for the shoot. About 50 miss calls (no i'm not exaggerating) and 1 hr later....she finally picked up her phone. Since it was already quite late, ended up having breakfast at Sri Petaling.

By the time we reached Bkt Jalil, none of us were ready....and so....we had to spend time doing this:

And finally we're ready!

1st pic of the day! shuey looking so 'yeng'

Unfortunately....keeping up a serious face was not an easy task with a lot of ppl around trying to make her laff.

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3! Finally got the right expression!

and here we go again =P laff shuey laff!

^_^

more 'yeng-ness'

Oakley models!

my super 'yeng' bf...no? hm...unfortunately no sparks flying between our eyes >.<

*ahem*

honeymoon pics =P

happy shuey!

an EVEN HAPPIER shuey

sorry to say...i dun haf a pic of them kissing =( and b'coz dear shuey had to leave early, that was all the pics i had of her. It was great having you back in m'sia...altho i had to see u almost everyday..hmpfz! =PPPPPPPP jk >.< dun smack me...i did have fun going out wif u everyday la..who else would make me laff so hard ^^ and now you're supposed to be so touched ur gonna miss me more and send MORE chocos back ok? LOL!

*hides*

Procrastination...

2008-11-06T13:09:00.000+08:00

Have been meaning to post some pics for ages now but never gotten around to doing so as photobucket is not exactly fast...

---> W.I.P @ Bangsar Shopping Centre <---

Matt falling asleep while waiting for the food to arrive?

Black Forest! It LOOKED really nice....but definitely not going back there for dessert again =.=

The thing that baffled me the most about W.I.P was the restrooms....they had a security code for it... =.=" why the heck would someone wanna put a password on a restroom in a restaurant?

---> Marmalade @ Bangsar Village <---

Wen Dee!

Love the wallpaper! So cute

Ended up ordering dessert again...bread and butter pudding

Wen's cheesecake

She wouldn't allow me to start eating till she had a nice picture >.<

---> Alexis @ Gardens <---

Each time I go to Alexis with simone, she never fails to order meringue =.="

---> Random Pics <---

Simone stole my drink!!

and then cudn't stop laffing after that =.=

JR! who has a fetish for yellow ducks @.@

So it's no surprise that his car has stuff like this...

and this...

more ducks =.="

and the one that i was most tempted to hijack off his car =P

my baby bunny 'snowie'! not so baby anymore now

fish spa @ pavilion with mommy dearest....so ticklish!

2008-11-05T14:54:00.000+08:00

I realised that the more things I had to blog about....the more i didn't knoe wat to write about. It's november already, mom's finally coming back soon with my dearly missed camera and chocolates! yay~

So many things happened that i can't believe its only been 20 days.....and that's also how long i've been 'seperated from the outside world'. I guess my proudest moment right now would be that I went thru a 12-hour spine surgery and I survived it....with a superbly long scar all the way from the neck down the back. Lying down in pain, throwing up from the side effects of morphin....calling simone up in the middle of the night and crying coz i was so scared of needles...it all seemed so long ago...

And saying that, I would like to say thank you to everyone who was there to encourage me (especially one particular person) when i was in hospital....and those who visited me when i got back. Thanks for scolding me when I was about to give up on myself =P I never would have gotten thru that night if it wasn't for you...and u better know who i'm talking about since you came almost everyday ^^thx for keeping my mom updated, and helping to get that soft toy for me

2008-10-15T20:13:00.000+08:00

笑一笑没什么大不了
am not gonna think too much...less than 12 hours to go and i'll be getting pricked with needles *urgh!* getting my blood tested...less than 36 hours b4 i'm unable to go thru metal detectors without setting the alarm off...and hopefully by the 45th hour i'll be up and awake..

but right now...it all feels so unreal! OMG!

will not scare anyone by leaving any last words or anything of the sort...i'll just probly be MIA from this blog for awhile... *fingers crossed*

-8.19pm 15th October 2008-

2008-10-05T22:57:00.001+08:00

If things are improving...why do i still feel like this?

Reality hits...

2008-09-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

After the crying episode in the doc's office....everyday went by normally again...i guess reality finally hit today when they took the xrays to see how flexible my spine was...

1 week left...

i still wanna be able to do what i like to do...

it was really hard to hear the things i'm unable to do...

i'm finally crying for myself...

2008-09-24T22:55:00.001+08:00

i know i've been more independant lately...stronger in a lot of ways...

but i really dunno how long more i can go on pretending...i'm tired...i'm running out of reasons..

2008-09-24T00:51:00.001+08:00

Out of the frying pan...into the fire...

what am i getting myself into..?

YawNnnnnssss...

2008-09-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

I knoe i haven't been getting much sleep and look similar to the cute black and white furry animal from china....but this is too much -.-"

Ki says:
u also la sleep early la

Ki says:
aiyo =.=

Ki says:
panda at china exp

Ki says:
panda malaysia cheap =.=

OMG....

2008-09-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

I'm in so much trouble...

Is there anyone out there who can answer my questions?

It feels so...

2008-09-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

liberating with each step i take. 3 days to make another 'hard-to-make' decision...but this time i won't repeat the same mistake of thinking with my heart. Then again, its easier for me this time i'm more sure of what i want. I guess the hard decision to make is not to leave or not; but of the 2 choices, which one should i choose? Media planning? Crunching numbers, analysis...hmm... Or should i go for a more comfortable choice...advertising?

Finally went to 'euphoria'....had too much fun and i didn't really wanna leave =( it's the first time i could kinda forget things and enjoy myself...and its really thanks to shuey for bringing me.

Took the weekend off...finally get more than a 1-day weekend...i suddenly feel less pressured and i might just be able to walk in to work on Monday with a smile on my face. Suddenly, all the hurtful things seem less hurtful...i guess all i needed was a longer break. ^^

Hmm....poppy's or euphoria tomoro? =P

I love Simple Plan coz...

2008-09-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

the songs they write are so true to life. Was never a very big fan of what my mom calls 'noisy' music last time, but i find them a very good distraction, thus my addiction to trance. Thought some people still can't understand how i can blast trance early in the morning....

Simple Plan's latest!

I fall asleep by the telephone
It's 2 o'clock and I'm waiting up alone
Tell me where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same
Cause I can feel that you're gone

I can't bite my tongue forever
While you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories
But don't take me for a fool

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I knowYour love is just a lie
It's nothing but a lie

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you
And do you think about me when he *bleeped* you?
Could you be more obscene?

So dont try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late.

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie
It's nothing but a lie
You're nothing but a lie

*censored for immature audiences

A little something...

2008-09-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

shuey wrote on her blog....its like she's voicing out my feelings....so i've stolen the excerpt and will tell her bout it after i post it

____________________________________________________________________

Sometimes I wonder if its all worth it. Life goes on but I feel left behind at times. People change, things change but I find myself in the same place over and over...

I'm feeling tired.

Just need a release from this mundane life I feel and maybe I find that in you.

Maybe one day I'll feel different. But for now, just let me live in my own little world where I can just escape... even for a little while.

It's worth it.

____________________________________________________________________

i'm not as stupid as i seem....

2 days in a row of...

2008-09-12T23:33:00.001+08:00

sushi zanmai! OMG -_-" i'm suddenly addicted to tofu skin...with the salmon topping.....and soft shell crab too....and the weirdest thing was...i used to not like both tofu skin and soft shell crab...since everything's changing, guess i shudn't be surprised that my taste in food changed too...oh well, more choices for me now

things are getting stressed at work...the pressure's piling up...suddenly everything's thrown my direction and i feel kinda lost...it's either sink or swim. where do i go from here?

its friday nite...and as tempted as i was to head on for a drink after dinner with my frens...i ended up back home...coz i'm working on a saturday. after 1 mth, it still feels weird. am i not trying hard enuf to fit in? or trying too hard?

having snowie around is becoming so comforting...i swear it actually understands what i say sometimes...and you know how they say that animals are the most loyal creatures...maybe its true..

Its time to...

2008-09-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

close my eyes and be someone who believes...

Resolutions

2008-09-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

I've finally done something! Long overdue...

Can't wait for thursday...one step closer!

*prays for simmy....*

2008-09-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

Days felt like weeks, weeks felt like months. Wonder what changes the hurricane will bring this time around? Lurking around the corner, it has started changing things.

Need to decide if i'm gonna face it head on, or run somewhere far away again.

New Stuff!~

2008-07-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

Recently got myself some new toys...2 actually!

The pink and white one is my new lomographic camera. Cute isn't it? Got it about 3 weeks back and still on the same roll of film. Need to start snapping more pics if i wanna see how the pics are gonna turn out anytime soon >_< See the two other adorable round thingies at boths sides of the lomo? Say hi to mickey~ 2GB of super cuteness! They're so small....looks damn fragile, but mickey is tougher than it looks =P

This is my baby nephew JackJack~ I call him baby michelin =P coz little JackJack has lotsa spare tyres, like the michelin mascot =P and if my cousin stumbles upon my blog, i'm sure she's gonna kill me

more baby JackJack~

full and contented, time to sleep

my niece Jane, future gold medalist gymnast =PPPPP

Will upload lomo pics when i finally develop the film. 22 more pics to go! In the meantime, awaiting Mushroom's grand arrival....can't wait to see her!

Virgin Snow

2008-05-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

No...this shall no longer be just a photography blog...that's coz when i need to upload tons and tons of pictures onto photobucket just to make a blog entry, i'll procrastinate, and this blog will be left alone for another few months.

Just watched this movie titled 'Virgin Snow' starring my fave Korean actor Lee Joon-Ki. Bought the DVD 2 months back and finally got a chance to watch it.

Summary: (taken off the back of DVD cover)
Kim Min (Lee Joon-Ki) moves to Japan with his father. Coincidently, he encounters Nanae, a beautiful Japanese girl with mysterious aura. Nanae is beautiful and cheerful, but there is sorrow hidden in her eyes. Kim Min falls in love with her at first sight though they are unable to communicate well. Kim Min later finds out that Nanae is his schoolmate. He draws close to Nanae when he damages her drawing set accidentally. Despite the cultural and language barriers, they fall in love with each other.

Kim Min and Nanae make a promise that they'll have a celebration on the 100th day of their dating. Nanae looks upset on that day even though Kim Min makes a ceramic doll for her. She even stops Kim Min from opening the amulet that she makes for him. On the following day, Kim Min realizes that Nanae suddenly leaves him without a word. While the virgin snow is coming, can they keep their promise?

I know there's grammar error but too lazy to correct them. Two thumbs up for the movie; it really draws out the emotional part in you. Makes you think a lot too, or it least it makes me think.

GE2008

2008-03-12T23:59:00.001+08:00

Kinda outdated post seeing that election was 8th March and it's now 12th. It's only been 5 days since GE2008 but seems like so many things happened within that period....

but...

I VOTED!!! i played a part in GE2008....wahaha! for me who is so blardy unpolitical to actually go -.-" i'm amazed at myself...and even more surprised that i was actually looking forward to hearing the results...must be dad's influence rubbing off more than i thought *shudders*

anyway...managed to get some pics of the election scene for the lembah pantai constituency...in which its results were pretty shocking. had no time to whip out the a200 so pics were taken with my convenient little sony T70

it was a hectic day as the road into the kerinchi school was jammed up...PKR on one side...BN on the other -.-"

ever seen a voting paper? i wonder who decided on the colour..

but the pic of the day goes to the guys in the pic below...the whole road jammed with cars and what are they doing...? hmm...

Garden

2008-02-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

Never knew there were so many different flowers/plants around the vicinity of my house. I was ready to just settle for the 2 flowers which i keep using to practice when I noticed some cute round fruits and little white flowers as well ^_^ Got to play around with a macro lens...at one point the autofocus wasn't working well and couldn't get it to focus on what i wanted. Switched to manual after awhile my left eye kept blinking >_<

time to get back to work~

Wishing Tree!

2008-02-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever noticed that in tvb/hk serials, they sometimes show a wishing tree? I always thought it would be fun to someday try it out when i get to hong kong. Imagine my reaction when i saw one right here in Malaysia !!!!!

One of those are mine =P it took more than one throw but i finally got it to stay up.

A less challenging wishing tree

The lighted candle's mine! Another form of wishing

Yes, i'm 'kiasu' =P initially i thought i could only make one wish per cloth/candle. Apparently not -_-" So for the candle, I wished and wished and wished! Hya hya

Some random pics from jenjarom, no more lantern obsession this time ^_^

Obsessed with Lanterns

2008-02-18T20:18:00.001+08:00

More lantern pics from the jenjarom temple:

Testing 1,2,3

2008-02-18T00:27:00.000+08:00

Just recently got a SLR, a Sony Alpha-200 to be precise. An entry level SLR but good enough for me to learn more about photography. Learning from reading the manual proved to be pretty challenging for me as i'm more of an 'example' person. So after some lessons; 'theory' from Milo and 'practical' from Rei, i'm set and ready to go!

Practice at garden:

After shooting a number of pics, felt most satisfied with the 2 above. I know it's not perfect, but i'm actually more surprised that those are taken by me =P

Got to practice more at a temple in Jenjarom, have been there twice but I still can't remember the name.

Year of the Rat